I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
