think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
