So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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