i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
