Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
