i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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