You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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