Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sober January is a disaster.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
