i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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