that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
