I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
