Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
