addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
