Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
