maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize