capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
