She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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