Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
