Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
