I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
