if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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