I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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