I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How naked do you want me to be?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize