Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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