Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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