The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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