Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
