If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
