Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
