This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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