the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
