who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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