Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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