it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize