Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
