I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
