I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
