mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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