Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
