hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
