okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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