uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
