i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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