tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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