Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
