making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
