Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Everything about him screamed your future.
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
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People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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