Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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