So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
