no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
