Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
