Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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