I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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