Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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