i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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