Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
