glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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