Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
