Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
