This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
