so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
