well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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