I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Randomize
