update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is Oprah even human
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
