This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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